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中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作例講
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作例講 如何寫(xiě)記敘文 【寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)】
記敘文（Narration）是以記敘人物的經(jīng)歷或事物的發(fā)展變化過(guò)程為主的一種文體。它是寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練中最普遍、最基本的一種。一般說(shuō)來(lái)，它大致分為三類(lèi)：
一是以記人為主的記敘文，即以人物為中心組織材料，圍繞這個(gè)人物可以寫(xiě)一件事，也可寫(xiě)幾件事；
二是以寫(xiě)事為主的記敘文，即以事件為中心組織材料，圍繞中心事件可以寫(xiě)一個(gè)人，也可以寫(xiě)幾個(gè)人；
三是以寫(xiě)景狀物為主的記敘文。
但應(yīng)注意的是，在一篇記敘文中，寫(xiě)人、寫(xiě)景、寫(xiě)事往往是交織在一起的，不能截然分開(kāi)，但各有側(cè)重。 【基本要求】
1． 交代清楚人物(who／whom)、時(shí)間(when)、地點(diǎn)(where)、事由(what)。
2． 按故事或事件發(fā)生的時(shí)間先后依次敘述。
3． 主題鮮明，內(nèi)容清楚。
文章中的故事應(yīng)有頭有尾，要寫(xiě)出事情的發(fā)生、發(fā)展、變化及結(jié)束的過(guò)程。確切地說(shuō)，在記敘時(shí)要把與一件事物有關(guān)的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物、原因等因素交代清楚，才能給人一種完整的認(rèn)識(shí)和印象。
4． 層次分明，有條有理。
記敘時(shí)，要有開(kāi)頭，正文及結(jié)尾。有時(shí)涉及幾個(gè)人或幾件事，一件事往往牽涉到相關(guān)的次要事情；有時(shí)一件大事中還包括小事，這就要對(duì)記敘的事情做出分析，分清主線和副線，圍繞主線安排副線。
5． 詳略得當(dāng)，主次適宜。
記敘事情時(shí)，要注意主題鮮明突出，清楚具體，內(nèi)容感人深刻。寫(xiě)人時(shí)，要抓住典型事例、典型行動(dòng)和表現(xiàn)。對(duì)中心事件和最能表現(xiàn)中心思想的地方，要詳細(xì)敘述；次要的東西，就少寫(xiě)或不寫(xiě)。 【注意事項(xiàng)】
1． 仔細(xì)審題，確定主題。文章的目的、內(nèi)容、結(jié)構(gòu)層次以及語(yǔ)言的運(yùn)用，都要圍繞主題進(jìn)行。
2． 根據(jù)情景提示和主題，安排文章的結(jié)構(gòu)層次，用每段的首句即主題句來(lái)指明段落的中心思想。安排好關(guān)鍵的主題句，就會(huì)使中心更加突出，眉目清楚。
3． 要進(jìn)行審題，根據(jù)內(nèi)容需要，確定好句子的種類(lèi)、句型結(jié)構(gòu)和習(xí)慣表達(dá)。這樣可以避免中國(guó)式的英語(yǔ)，提高語(yǔ)言的正確性。初寫(xiě)時(shí)，多模仿句型寫(xiě)簡(jiǎn)單句，循序漸進(jìn)，逐步深化。
4．句子時(shí)態(tài)要在上下文中有相關(guān)性、連續(xù)性；要與表達(dá)內(nèi)容一致。
5．寫(xiě)作前最好有個(gè)簡(jiǎn)明扼要的提綱，使自己的寫(xiě)作有章可循。審題后要先寫(xiě)出草稿，經(jīng)過(guò)修改之后，再正式成文。 【佳作欣賞】 例1．記人
馬克·吐溫是美國(guó)著名作家。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面提供的內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇人物簡(jiǎn)介。
詞數(shù)：100左右。
馬克·吐溫(1835－1910)生于美國(guó)Missouri。他是美國(guó)19世紀(jì)著名的作家之一。他的家鄉(xiāng)位于密西西比河畔。成年后，他曾在密西西比河的船上當(dāng)水手。馬克·吐溫是他的筆名。
他寫(xiě)過(guò)很多小說(shuō)，其中最著名的是《湯姆索耶歷險(xiǎn)記》。他的作品被譯成多國(guó)文字，深受全世界讀者喜愛(ài)。
范文：
Mark Twain(1835－1910), one of the best known American writers in the nineteenth century, was born in Missouri in the middle part of the United States．
Mark Twain’s hometown lay on the banks of the Mississippi River, where he spent his childhood．When he grew up he worked as a sailor on a riverboat for some time． Mark Twain was his pen name．
Mark Twain wrote a lot of novels, one of which is The Adventure of Tom Sawyer, the masterpiece which brought him fame and honor． Some of his writings have been translated into many languages． He and his works are deeply loved by readers throughout the world．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
(1) 本文為人物簡(jiǎn)介,共分三段，層層深入地把馬克·吐溫一生的重大事情表達(dá)得清清楚楚。文章的時(shí)態(tài)主要用過(guò)去時(shí)，最后兩句與現(xiàn)在有關(guān)，因此用了現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)和一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。
(2)文章簡(jiǎn)潔明了，第一句以一個(gè)帶有同位語(yǔ)的句子代替兩個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單句，使句子簡(jiǎn)練。第二、三段的第一句中分別用了定語(yǔ)從句，使句子縮短，避免冗長(zhǎng)。 例2．記事
假如你參加了一次植樹(shù)活動(dòng)，請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇短文。要求包括：時(shí)間、天氣、參加者(你的老師、同學(xué)們)、植樹(shù)地點(diǎn)及棵數(shù)、勞動(dòng)場(chǎng)面及表現(xiàn)突出的人物、感想。
注意使用以下詞語(yǔ)：go all out 鼓足干勁；be afraid of falling behind 害怕落后；set an example to sb樹(shù)立榜樣；in spite of 盡管；ahead of time 提前。
詞數(shù)：120左右。 范文：
Planting Trees
It was fine on April 8, 2003． That day all the students in our class went to the suburb of our city to plant trees．
On arriving at the planting place at 8 o’clock, the teacher asked each of us to plant 5 trees at least． Then we set about digging, planting and watering． All of us were going all out to finish our task, afraid of falling behind． Among us, our monitor set a good example to us． In spite of his illness, he accepted his task and finished it ahead of time． Then he went on to help others without a little rest． After work, he was wet all over． He looked pale, but he was full of joy． Looking at the lines of the young trees, we smiled pleasantly, forgetting our tiredness．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
(1) 文章記敘了2003年4月8日種樹(shù)的情況，因此全文用過(guò)去時(shí)。第一段交代清楚這次活動(dòng)的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)和參加的人員。第二段按提示的要求敘述植樹(shù)的過(guò)程。
(2) 用短語(yǔ)“On arriving at…”，來(lái)表示時(shí)間，比用時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句“As soon as we arrived at…”要簡(jiǎn)練得多。
(3) 用 In spite of his illness, without a little rest 替代從句或簡(jiǎn)單句，使句子更加生動(dòng)。
例3．寫(xiě)景
根據(jù)下列內(nèi)容提示，以“Gulangyu — a Fairyland in the World”為題，寫(xiě)一篇短文，描繪鼓浪嶼的美景。
① 鼓浪嶼是廈門(mén)市的一個(gè)小島，海水把它與市區(qū)分開(kāi)。整個(gè)小島像一座水上花園，人稱(chēng)“人間仙境”。
② 這里不允許車(chē)輛行駛，島上十分安靜，到處能聽(tīng)到彈奏鋼琴、拉提琴的聲音。
③ “日光巖”是島上的最高處，在這里可以一覽廈門(mén)和其他島嶼的美景。
④ 這里天水相連，天氣晴朗時(shí)可用望遠(yuǎn)鏡清晰地看見(jiàn)金門(mén)島。
⑤ “日光巖”腳下是一座風(fēng)景如畫(huà)的花園，44孔橋像一條白色巨龍橫跨海面，非常美！
參考詞匯：①風(fēng)景 (畫(huà)) landscape
②仙境 fairyland
③橫跨 span
范文：
Gulangyu—a Fairyland in theWorld
Gulangyu is an island separated from Xiamen city． It’s like a garden on the water． The shade of the trees covers nearly whole island． Cars, buses, bikes are not allowed to drive there．Everyone should walk． This makes the place very quiet so that music played by the piano or the violin can be heard here and there．
The Sunshine Rock is the highest place on the island， so it has become the symbol of Gulangyu．Standing at the top of the Sunshine Rock, one can see the landscape of the whole Xiamen and other small islands． The sky and the sea meet on the horizon． It’s said that people can see clearly the Jinmen Island through telescope when the sun is shining．
At the foot of the Sunshine Rock is a beautiful garden． The Forty-four Bridge spans over the water like a white dragon． What a beautiful picture！
Such is Gulangyu, a fairyland in the world．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
本文采用先總后分的寫(xiě)法對(duì)鼓浪嶼進(jìn)行了描寫(xiě)。第一段總的介紹其地理位置與特點(diǎn)。第二、三段采取由上到下或由高向低的順序進(jìn)行描述:第二段寫(xiě)由該島最高處俯瞰全城的情景；第三段寫(xiě)山腳下的花園美景。最后，用一句話總括全文：鼓浪嶼是人間仙境，與文章的題目相照應(yīng)。 【教你一招】 寫(xiě)作要求：
根據(jù)下列內(nèi)容提示寫(xiě)一篇短文，字?jǐn)?shù)100字左右。
(1) 今天下午在多功能教室(multi-functional classroom)舉辦了題為“挑戰(zhàn)未來(lái)”的英語(yǔ)演講比賽。
(2)聽(tīng)完演講的感想及今后的打算。 寫(xiě)作步驟：
第一步：
1．確定文章的基本時(shí)態(tài) —— 一般過(guò)去式。
2．根據(jù)所給提示基本上可以確定文章可分為兩個(gè)自然段。
第二步：
列出一些與文章大意有關(guān)的詞或短語(yǔ)。
An English lecture competition, the multi-functional classroom, hold, challenge the future,
title, fluent English, ashamed, study hard to improve my English
第三步：
將這些關(guān)鍵詞串聯(lián)成句、組成文，完成后仔細(xì)檢查是否有錯(cuò)誤。
This afternoon an English lecture competition, whose title is Challenge the Future, was held in the multi-functional classroom． The competitors gave wonderful lectures in fluent English and won thunderous applauses．
Compared with their English, I felt ashamed of my poor English． So I’ve made up my mind to study hard and I’m sure I can speak English as well as they do someday． 【習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)】 寫(xiě)作要求：
請(qǐng)就下面故事寫(xiě)一篇120字左右的短文。
從前，遙遠(yuǎn)山莊有一少年，酷愛(ài)讀書(shū)。然而因家境貧寒，無(wú)錢(qián)買(mǎi)書(shū)。他聽(tīng)說(shuō)遠(yuǎn)方有一戶富人家收藏著各種書(shū)籍，樂(lè)交誠(chéng)實(shí)少年。于是，少年長(zhǎng)途跋涉，借書(shū)求知。富人說(shuō)：“只要愛(ài)護(hù)書(shū)籍，及時(shí)交還，可隨意借書(shū)”。
歷時(shí)多年，少年總是及時(shí)讀完所借書(shū)籍，從不延遲交還。就這樣，該少年博覽群書(shū)，長(zhǎng)大后成了大科學(xué)家。
習(xí)作原文：
There was once an honest boy in a far away① mountain village． He was very fond of reading．But his family was too poor to buy him any books． Far away from the village there lived a rich man who had a library in which he kept all kinds of books． This man liked honest teenagers． When the boy learned it②, he walked a long way to visit him and asked the rich man to borrow③ him some books． “You can borrow any books as you like if only you keep them clean and return them on time④,” the man said．
For many years the boy always finished to read⑤ the books in a given time and was never late in returning them back⑥． In this way the boy read a lot of books and when he grew up, he became a great scientist．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
本文寫(xiě)出了全部要點(diǎn)，層次分明，語(yǔ)言通順，復(fù)合句用得不錯(cuò)。但有幾處語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤：①把 far away 改為faraway。faraway是形容詞，意為“遙遠(yuǎn)的”，只能作前置定語(yǔ)，不能作狀語(yǔ)。far away是固定詞組，意為“很遠(yuǎn)”，只能作表語(yǔ)、狀語(yǔ)和后置定語(yǔ)，如第4句。②it 改為 this。 it 代替前面提到的名詞，而且與前面的名詞指同一物。this 代替上文的內(nèi)容。③把 borrow 改為 lend 。因?yàn)閎orrow 是“借入”，而 lend 是“借出”。④把 on time 改為 in time 。on time 是“準(zhǔn)時(shí)”，指正好在規(guī)定的時(shí)間內(nèi)，既不遲，也不早。in time 是“及時(shí)”，指按照預(yù)定的時(shí)間還有富余，可做些別的事情。⑤to read 改為 reading。 finish后只能用v-ing形式作賓語(yǔ)，不可用不定式作賓語(yǔ)。 finish reading意為“讀完”。⑥把 back 去掉。因 return 意為“歸還(give sth back)”。 【習(xí)作練兵】 1． 請(qǐng)根據(jù)中文提示，用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)出下列故事。
有位婦女心臟病犯了，去看醫(yī)生。這位大夫是新來(lái)的，并不認(rèn)識(shí)她。于是先問(wèn)了她一些問(wèn)題。其中一個(gè)問(wèn)題是：“你多大歲數(shù)？” 她答道：“大夫，我記不起來(lái)了，我得好好想想。”她想 中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作例講了一會(huì)兒，然后說(shuō)：“我現(xiàn)在想起來(lái)了，結(jié)婚時(shí)，我是18歲，我丈夫30歲。現(xiàn)在我丈夫60歲，這正好是30歲的兩倍。所以我現(xiàn)在是18歲的兩倍，那就是36歲。對(duì)嗎？”
詞數(shù)：100左右。
2． 請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下提示，寫(xiě)一篇120字左右的英文短文，介紹你的暑假生活。
(1) 與祖父母在農(nóng)村住了半個(gè)月；
(2) 山和田野綠樹(shù)成蔭；
(3) 有時(shí)去村西的小河洗澡，河水清澈；
(4) 每天寫(xiě)日記；
(5) 除了干農(nóng)活以外，還幫助鄰居的孩子補(bǔ)課；
(6) 孩子們對(duì)英語(yǔ)感興趣，讀和寫(xiě)較好，但聽(tīng)不懂簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)。你每天早上幫他們提高聽(tīng)力和口語(yǔ)，他們進(jìn)步很大；
(7) 孩子們的家長(zhǎng)贊揚(yáng)你；
(8) 農(nóng)村需要知識(shí)。
參考答案
1． A woman was having some trouble with her heart, so she went to see her doctor． He was a new doctor and did not know her, so he first asked some questions, and one of them was, “How old are you﹖”
“Well,” she answered, “I don’t remember, doctor, but I will try to think．” She thought for a minute and then said． “Yes, I remember now, doctor！ When I married, I was eighteen years old and my husband was thirty． Now my husband is sixty, I know, that is twice thirty． So I am twice eighteen． That is thirty-six, isn’t it﹖”
2． During this year’s summer vacation, I spent half a month helping my grandparents do farm work in the country． I saw the mountains and fields were covered with green trees． Sometimes I went swimming in the river, which was to the west of the village． The river water was quite clear． I kept a diary every day．
Besides my doing farm work, I helped the neighbors’ children with their lessons． All of them were interested in English． They could read and write English well, but they could hardly understand simple English． Every morning I spent about two hours in helping them to improve their listening and spoken English． They all made great progress． Their parents praised me highly． In my opinion knowledge is much needed in the countryside． 【寫(xiě)作指導(dǎo)】
描寫(xiě)（Portray）就是用生動(dòng)、形象的語(yǔ)言將人物、事物、景物等的特征和性質(zhì)活靈活現(xiàn)地刻畫(huà)或描繪出來(lái)，使讀者如見(jiàn)其人、如聞其聲、如臨其境。為了使人或事物的特征躍然紙上，我們往往在寫(xiě)文章時(shí)把敘述和描寫(xiě)結(jié)合起來(lái)。描寫(xiě)就是形象化的敘述。
1． 描寫(xiě)文的分類(lèi)
就描寫(xiě)對(duì)象而言，描寫(xiě)可分為人物描寫(xiě)、景物描寫(xiě)和場(chǎng)面描寫(xiě)等。
(1) 人物描寫(xiě)：指描寫(xiě)人物的肖像、語(yǔ)言、動(dòng)作、心理活動(dòng)及生活細(xì)節(jié)等，旨在塑造活靈活現(xiàn)的人物。
(2) 景物描寫(xiě)：是指對(duì)山川風(fēng)光、鳥(niǎo)樹(shù)魚(yú)蟲(chóng)、風(fēng)花雪月等的描寫(xiě)。
(3) 場(chǎng)面描寫(xiě)：指對(duì)一個(gè)特定時(shí)間和地點(diǎn)發(fā)生的事情的描寫(xiě)，如勞動(dòng)場(chǎng)面、會(huì)議場(chǎng)面、戰(zhàn)斗場(chǎng)面等的描寫(xiě)。
就敘述的方式而言，描寫(xiě)又可分為主觀描寫(xiě)和客觀描寫(xiě),如：“這棵樹(shù)很美”是主觀描寫(xiě)；“這棵樹(shù)高四米”是客觀描寫(xiě)。所謂主觀描寫(xiě)，就是在描述人或事物的特征或特性時(shí)，可以把自己對(duì)此人或此事物的看法表現(xiàn)出來(lái)；客觀描寫(xiě)就是就事論事。在實(shí)際寫(xiě)作中通常是主觀描寫(xiě)與客觀描寫(xiě)相結(jié)合，這樣既能描繪出事物本身的特性，又能表現(xiàn)出作者的態(tài)度和觀點(diǎn)。
2． 描寫(xiě)文的語(yǔ)言
(1) 描寫(xiě)文的語(yǔ)言特征是大量使用動(dòng)詞和修飾語(yǔ)，這些詞匯的使用可以使被描述的對(duì)象具體、形象地表現(xiàn)出來(lái)。為了使文章更生動(dòng)，要適當(dāng)?shù)剡\(yùn)用形容詞、同義詞或派生形容詞、副詞等，避免單調(diào)重復(fù)。
(2) 寫(xiě)好描寫(xiě)文，要求語(yǔ)言具體、準(zhǔn)確，以利于表達(dá)文章內(nèi)容。試比較下面兩句話：
①He was very, very angry．
他非常非常生氣。
②His face turned red, and one corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to control his anger．
他的臉通紅，嘴角抽搐地強(qiáng)壓著怒火。 同樣是描寫(xiě)“生氣”，第②句比第①句描述得具體、生動(dòng)得多。
3． 描寫(xiě)文的具體寫(xiě)法
(1) 描寫(xiě)文的寫(xiě)法多種多樣，可以先從具體描寫(xiě)某一事物開(kāi)始，然后再泛寫(xiě)與之相關(guān)的其它事物；還可以先寫(xiě)不重要的事物，最后重點(diǎn)突出所要描寫(xiě)的事物；還可以按照事物所處的空間順序，如前后左右等，來(lái)描述事物。
(2) 靈活運(yùn)用各種修辭手法。根據(jù)需要恰當(dāng)?shù)剡\(yùn)用比喻、擬人、夸張等修辭手法，可以使描述更生動(dòng)、形象，更好地說(shuō)明問(wèn)題。如：
①He says he is almost as busy as a bee． 他說(shuō)他忙得團(tuán)團(tuán)轉(zhuǎn)。(比喻)
②My heart is like a singing bird． 我的心情像小鳥(niǎo)在歌唱。(比喻)
(3)要寫(xiě)好描寫(xiě)文，既要有豐富的想象力和敏銳的觀察力，還要具有語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)能力。因此，我們?cè)谥袑W(xué)階段應(yīng)該有意識(shí)地努力培養(yǎng)這三種能力；在日常生活中要利用感官，多觀察周?chē)氖挛�，并在英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)中，進(jìn)行廣泛的閱讀，多積累詞匯，多做練習(xí)。
【佳作欣賞】
例1．景物描寫(xiě)
請(qǐng)你寫(xiě)一篇文章，描寫(xiě)港口城市青島，內(nèi)容要求如下：
① 位于山東省東部；
② 以藍(lán)色的大海，美麗的海濱而聞名，是避暑勝地；
③ 每年夏天來(lái)自全國(guó)和世界各地成千上萬(wàn)的人到這里沿海漫步、游泳、購(gòu)物、觀賞秀麗景色；
④ 近年來(lái)，該城市發(fā)生了巨大變化，對(duì)發(fā)展我國(guó)對(duì)外貿(mào)易起到重要作用，并成為國(guó)際港口城市。
參考詞匯： 迷人的 attractive 別墅 villa
東西方風(fēng)格的 Eastern-and-Western-style
范文：
The City of Qingdao
The city of Qingdao lies in the east of Shandong Province． It is famous for its blue sea and beautiful beaches．
Qingdao is a wonderful place for summer holidays． Tens of thousands of people from all parts of the country and all corners of the world come to visit the city every summer． They walk along the beaches， go swimming in the sea or do some shopping in the stores or the markets． They can see the fine views of the city． Especially attractive are the building groups of the Eastern-and-Western-style mixed houses and villas．
Great changes have taken place in Qingdao in the recent years． It has played an important role in the development of the foreign trade of our country． Its port is busy． Ships from all countries come and go every day． It has become an international port city．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
（1） 本文引言段是對(duì)青島的概述。第二段描寫(xiě)其海濱的特色和市內(nèi)建筑的特點(diǎn)。第三段寫(xiě)其港口的景色及其在我國(guó)對(duì)外貿(mào)易中所起的作用。
（2） 本文有兩種句子結(jié)構(gòu)值得借鑒：其一是平行結(jié)構(gòu)，如第二段中的“all parts of the country and all corners of the world”和“walk along the beaches， go swimming in the sea or do some shopping in the stores or the markets”，這種結(jié)構(gòu)能夠給人以節(jié)奏的美感。其二是倒裝語(yǔ)序的句子：“Especially attractive are the building groups of the Eastern-and-Western-style mixed houses and villas．”這個(gè)句子把表語(yǔ)提到句首，把主語(yǔ)置于句末，避免了頭重腳輕。英語(yǔ)句法修辭上有一條“句尾重心”的準(zhǔn)則，要求把分量重的成分放在句子末尾，以起到強(qiáng)調(diào)主要內(nèi)容的作用。 例2．人物描寫(xiě)
根據(jù)下文提示，以“My Good Friends”為題，寫(xiě)一篇150字左右的描寫(xiě)文。
Tom 和 Jack雖然完全不同，但他們都是我的好朋友。
Tom 很矮、很胖。他喜歡穿好衣服。每月在父母給他錢(qián)之前，他就把錢(qián)花光了。他愿意和別人呆在一起，總是很快樂(lè)，并喜歡說(shuō)笑話。他特別喜歡參加聚會(huì)。他的周?chē)鲜菄蝗喝恕Ｋ矚g跳舞、聽(tīng)喧鬧的音樂(lè)。每次聚會(huì)他都會(huì)高唱他最喜歡的歌。Tom 是一個(gè)特別外向的人。
Jack 在外表、 人品和生活習(xí)慣上都和 Tom 完全不同。他瘦瘦的，高高的，喜歡穿普通的衣服。他生活節(jié)儉，每月都能省一些錢(qián)。他喜歡安靜、獨(dú)處， 很少笑， 是一個(gè)很?chē)?yán)肅的人。他喜歡讀書(shū)、畫(huà)畫(huà)，獨(dú)自旅游， 是個(gè)特別內(nèi)向的人。
參考詞匯：特別外向的人：a typical extrovert
人品：personality
特別內(nèi)向的人：a typical introvert
普通的衣服：plain clothes
節(jié)約地：frugally
范文：
My Good Friends
Tom and Jack are all my good friends although they are completely different from each other．
Tom is very short and rather fat． He likes to be well-dressed． Every month Tom spends all his money before his parents give him some more． Tom enjoys being with people． He’s extremely cheerful all the time and likes to tell jokes． He loves to go to parties, and is always surrounded by people．He likes to dance and to listen to loud music． At every party he sings his favorite songs at the top of his voice． Tom is a typical extrovert．
Jack is completely different from Tom in looks, personality, and habits． Jack is tall and thin．He likes to wear plain clothes and live frugally． Every month he is able to save some money．Jack likes quietness and to stay alone． He seldom laughs； he is very serious． He loves reading, painting and traveling alone． He is a typical introvert．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
本文用對(duì)比的方式將Tom和Jack兩個(gè)人描寫(xiě)得栩栩如生，第一段點(diǎn)明主題，第二、三段展開(kāi)敘述，從各個(gè)方面描寫(xiě)了兩個(gè)人的不同特點(diǎn), 而且層次分明，條理清晰。
例3．場(chǎng)面描寫(xiě)
根據(jù)下列內(nèi)容提示，以“An Exciting Race ”為題，寫(xiě)一篇短文，描寫(xiě)一接力賽的場(chǎng)面。
一年一度的田徑運(yùn)動(dòng)會(huì)開(kāi)始了。在最后一個(gè)項(xiàng)目下午3點(diǎn)左右舉行的女子400米接力賽中，你班的4名同學(xué)配合得很好，她們的個(gè)人素質(zhì)也不錯(cuò)，再加上你們?nèi)嗤瑢W(xué)的鼓勁，她們最終取得了第一名的好成績(jī)。 參考詞匯：
熱身運(yùn)動(dòng)：warm-up exercises 發(fā)令員：starter 發(fā)令槍?zhuān)簆istol 抓�。篻rab 一年一度的: annual
范文：
An Exciting Race
The annual field and track sports meet was held in our school．
It was the last day of the sports meet． At about three o’clock in the afternoon, there came a voice from the speaker， “Next item is the girl’s 400-metre relay race． Runners please get everything ready!” On hearing this, the four girl runners of our class, Helen, Jane, Nora and Dinah, gathered quickly by the track and did some warm-up exercises． With strong determination, Dinah said to her teammates, “We should win honor for our class and put up a good show．” After teams from six other classes were ready, the starter ordered, “On your marks(各就各位)．” Then came the pistol shot． At the sound of it, the first runners s 中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作例講hot from their starting points．Many students stared at a thin sixteen-year-old girl named Helen who started very fast and became the first one． Soon the second runners grabbed the sticks and raced on． Nora, the third runner had the stick and took the lead．Already running, Dinah reached for the stick． She was flying three or four steps ahead of the others．
Dinah urged（催促） herself, “Faster! Faster!” We cheered her up, shouting at the top of our voices． Bit by bit, she pulled quite ahead． It was too late for the others to close the gap and we all sighed with relief． At the finishing line, Dinah was the first one who reached the end．
At that moment, nothing would have been more exciting． We laughed, shouted, and we were very proud of our heroines． We praised them for their good teamwork．
點(diǎn)評(píng)：
本文描寫(xiě)了女子400米接力賽的場(chǎng)面。作者把這一場(chǎng)面放在一個(gè)很長(zhǎng)的段落里來(lái)寫(xiě)，給人以緊湊、緊張、鼓舞人心的感覺(jué)。有些地方描寫(xiě)生動(dòng)、具體，使讀者好像身臨其境，如：“there came a voice from the speaker，‘Next item is the girl’s 400-metre relay race． Runners please get everything ready!’”；“… the first runners shot from their starting points”；“Soon the second runners already moving， grabbed the stick and aced on．”等。
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